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Post by johnVC on Feb 7, 2024 15:24:18 GMT
Dear TQR editorial team,
Reading your long-ass, unnecessarily wordy submission guidelines did frustrate my gold-fish attention span but also gave me an idea of who you guys are. I'd attach a photo of my devilishly handsome mug but I've been advised by my friends that it would be "unprofessional", so I'll stick to my recap instead...
'A risk averse man realises all of life is a gamble and the only sin is to lose as he explores an ancient cave.'
Bit of a running sentence, but you'll live through it, after all you did write those guidelines. I do appreciate the businesslike tempo to it, it makes me remember that Econ degree I stumbled through last year...
Thank you for taking a look at my venture and I hope to hear from you soon,
johnVC
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Post by rorschalk on Feb 8, 2024 15:52:50 GMT
Dear Sir,
You have the joi de vivre and panache to trip my trigger and allow you through the velvet rope onto the floor, just not the word count. See #3 per our long-ass and unnecessarily wordy guidelines:
3: TQR accepts fiction of 4,000 to 12,000 words. Anything over 13,000 words better be The Greatest Story Ever Told, or we're gmailing you back a standard rejection, pronto. That being said, TQR takes anything, from romance to speculative future tense obscurities that only God or Donald Barthelme could understand. We don't put fiction in pigeonholes, but like to think of it all as an archaeologist views an eight centuries-old latrine: You can learn a lot from shit, but it's got to be good and solid to stand the test of time. ... All you have to do is touch the monkey.
Tis a pity, sir. I would have liked to see you vie to touch the monkey. Or at least partaken of your devilishly handsome mug.
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