Post by rorschalk on Jul 5, 2023 20:04:03 GMT
Dear Mr. VC,
Alas, it was a short reprieve upon your capital's ultimate rejection, but it comes with a little extra explanation as to the why and how from our good friend Rockefeller. Though it did not go any higher than the floor, I look forward to doing business with you in the future.
Posts: 254
6 hours ago Post by rockefeller on 6 hours ago
Okay, after this, no more queue jumping. Just something in the cover letter made me think this VC had potential and deserved a shot at our lowly Floor. And I was right. Subramani's Ava is a well written venture with lots of nice cultural and some historical detail. Technically it's good, too, save for the odd comma fault, as in, "The woman, in a bright yellow silk sari was straightening the piggy tails of the child I presumed was her daughter," where the one should be omitted or another placed after "sari" to form pair. Also, capping the sport of "Cricket" threw me. It's not a proper noun.
But the reason I'm tossing this memoir-esque offering into the Deluge beyond our Porthole is exemplified by its opening. The first few pages nicely describe a crowded bus ride, at the end of which the narrator sees a woman who reminds him of a childhood friend. And that's that for that narrative. The rest is reflection. Halfway through I still didn't see any coherent story or theme, a raison d'etre as Gabrielle might have said, only the rambling, probably autobiographical reflections of an able writer. At worst it reminded me of the Simpsons episode where old people are hired to break up a strike by nattering the strikers into submission with their disjointed narratives: "I wore an onion on my belt, as was the fashion of the times..." and so on. At best it's a worthwhile read, but not right for TQR.
Alas, it was a short reprieve upon your capital's ultimate rejection, but it comes with a little extra explanation as to the why and how from our good friend Rockefeller. Though it did not go any higher than the floor, I look forward to doing business with you in the future.
Posts: 254
6 hours ago Post by rockefeller on 6 hours ago
Okay, after this, no more queue jumping. Just something in the cover letter made me think this VC had potential and deserved a shot at our lowly Floor. And I was right. Subramani's Ava is a well written venture with lots of nice cultural and some historical detail. Technically it's good, too, save for the odd comma fault, as in, "The woman, in a bright yellow silk sari was straightening the piggy tails of the child I presumed was her daughter," where the one should be omitted or another placed after "sari" to form pair. Also, capping the sport of "Cricket" threw me. It's not a proper noun.
But the reason I'm tossing this memoir-esque offering into the Deluge beyond our Porthole is exemplified by its opening. The first few pages nicely describe a crowded bus ride, at the end of which the narrator sees a woman who reminds him of a childhood friend. And that's that for that narrative. The rest is reflection. Halfway through I still didn't see any coherent story or theme, a raison d'etre as Gabrielle might have said, only the rambling, probably autobiographical reflections of an able writer. At worst it reminded me of the Simpsons episode where old people are hired to break up a strike by nattering the strikers into submission with their disjointed narratives: "I wore an onion on my belt, as was the fashion of the times..." and so on. At best it's a worthwhile read, but not right for TQR.