Post by johnVC on May 31, 2023 20:12:01 GMT
I've attached a revised version.
I think I've addressed your concerns and comments.
I've added a short paragraph about the white feather. I've tried it as a prologue and epilogue and think it works better at the end. However, feel free to move it to the beginning if you think it works better.
The bigger issue of why Thomas would assist the German after what happened with Ryan was dealt with by two changes.
In the second case, I have Thomas say, "But if the Germans came across one of ours, you want them to help." This is in line with the idea of reciprocity which I used as the explanation for obeying the Law of Land Warfare.
I went back to my source material (Ambulancing on the French Front by Edward R. Coyle, 1918) and rewrote the German's action based on his account of German behavior in the chapter "Kamerad."
There was one small change to the scene of Ryan's death. In the original, the German soldier is described as having a grenade. The German Army of the period used two types of grenades - the potato masher (a grenade mounted on a stick) and the kugelgrenade (spherical grenade), which used the wire ignition described. The incident itself is also from the Coyle book.
Please let me know if you have any questions or additional changes.
johnVC
I think I've addressed your concerns and comments.
I've added a short paragraph about the white feather. I've tried it as a prologue and epilogue and think it works better at the end. However, feel free to move it to the beginning if you think it works better.
The bigger issue of why Thomas would assist the German after what happened with Ryan was dealt with by two changes.
In the second case, I have Thomas say, "But if the Germans came across one of ours, you want them to help." This is in line with the idea of reciprocity which I used as the explanation for obeying the Law of Land Warfare.
I went back to my source material (Ambulancing on the French Front by Edward R. Coyle, 1918) and rewrote the German's action based on his account of German behavior in the chapter "Kamerad."
There was one small change to the scene of Ryan's death. In the original, the German soldier is described as having a grenade. The German Army of the period used two types of grenades - the potato masher (a grenade mounted on a stick) and the kugelgrenade (spherical grenade), which used the wire ignition described. The incident itself is also from the Coyle book.
Please let me know if you have any questions or additional changes.
johnVC
