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Post by johnVC on Apr 12, 2023 14:26:03 GMT
Hi, my name is [REDACTED] johnVC, a fiction writer from Serbia and I want to submit my ventures and if possible promote my first novel in your magazine and here..., the Samwell... is a fan fiction short I wrote for a competition and first 3 chapters of my novel and a link to it www.barnesandnoble.com/w/strigorovs-forest-tomislav-takac/1140950904 and some illustrations for my novel, my short bio,2 of 3 short stories are published in Serbian and Slovenian and the novella [ Wonderfull cap about a girl with Papovka ] was the first of my writing which is published in Serbian in a web magazine but its not published anywhere in English yet.Word cout is 11.899
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Post by rorschalk on Apr 12, 2023 14:40:34 GMT
Dear Mr. VC,
Thank you for the submission. However, it's not what we're looking for at this moment. Best of luck with it elsewhere.
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Post by johnVC on Apr 12, 2023 14:43:06 GMT
Thank you for your response.
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Post by rorschalk on Apr 12, 2023 14:50:46 GMT
It is my pleasure, sir. Here's our revised guidelines for your review should you wish to submit again in the future;
TQR PROCESS: The TQR submission process does not start with the reading of your capital. It actually starts with the query/introduction email accompanying the attached venture. Think of it as an elevator pitch or an impromptu audition. The style of said may be anything, perhaps irreverent and fetching or intensity that's too fraught to ignore. What will trip my trigger is as ineffable as telling you it needs to Touch the Monkey. It 's just that certain joie de vivre je ne sais quois or the venture capitalist with a certain way about them that translates well through that first contact that will get them read here.
It may be as brief as a few sentences or even just a word that will strike me, the doorman at the club's entrance, to unhook the velvet rope from the stanchion and reverently bade you come in and take part in our secret basement slam poetry space where madmen howl and philosophers chain smoke their way through muttered profundities about making merry while the new mown grass is in the field, pontificating on our duty to make the best of all our fleeting sunless dances in the sun.Some hints on what the doorman likes:
1. Know the lingo (see TQRspeak on the main menu).
2. Read the FAQ and incorporate some of what you learned there into your intro.
3. Brevity is the soul of wit, but don't be afraid to beef up your pitch either. Feel your way.
4. Make it a bold declaration or a comedy routine...Henny Youngman more so than Lenny Bruce, please! If you think you can bully me into submission to accept your venture, that's not entirely out of the question either. My deal is how clever of a bully are you?
5. I can honestly say that I've never taken a bribe to let anybody inside, but then again nobody's ever offered...I'll let sleeping dogs lie on that one.
Once you've negotiated your way through the doorman, you'll get a confirmation gmail letting you know that you've made it inside. If you didn't make it past him, you'll get a confirmation gmail, too, just not the one that you were vying for.
Anywhat: Once you're in like Flynn the first stop on your capital's journey is the floor. If not rejected on the floor, it is then sent to the Terminal for a 2nd round of vetting by a pair of world renowned capital managers: Bulldust and Wally Sturgeon, otherwise known as the fish. If it is not rejected in the Terminal, it goes to the desk of CEO and autocratic leader Ted Rorschalk the final boss of TQR adjudication. You, the VC, will be apprised of your progress every step of the way, as all venture capital subs are openly discussed on site, from floor, to terminal, to executive suite and in those rare instance of concordance among the live wires sorting through the cap, a stunning and gorgeous capital gain. Just because a venture was accepted on the Floor or in the Terminal does not mean it is going to be featured in this publication. Only when CEO and autocratic leader (aka the monkey) is touched by what a VC is trying to convey will money change bank acounts and bread will be broken. Capiche?
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Post by johnVC on Apr 12, 2023 20:40:46 GMT
Awesome, thanks!
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