Post by rorschalk on Jun 13, 2022 19:14:11 GMT
This was full of surprises, about faces and the old switcheroo. It kept me guessing and I really like that in a capital venture. Every few pages a new layer of understanding was peeled back as the two combatants rolled around on the wrestling mat of their verbal jiujitsu. Complications arise and complications are overcome throughout this high stakes tet a tet. The plot is very hot button: abortion, date rape, gay adoption with an unpredictable mixture of side taking on either end of each issue, allowing for the messiness of experiential reality to resolve itself in contradiction, which is really nice to see. I have to admit I was ideologically torn with a good amount of the narrative but the realistic tone and layers of revelation the VC employed to ramp up the tension kept me turning the page...
Until...
the whopper that stopped the wild ride in its tracks for me was the very convenient mention of the fatal car crash of the alleged date rapist, thus instantly absolving Renee, the prospective mother of the alleged date rapist's child, from the sluething of our protagonist and prospective adoptive father of Renee's forthcoming child, Joseph. Owing to the fact this piece is chock full of symbols and linguistic idiosyncrasies of the French language and language in general, as well as historical allusions, I'm certain the VC is familiar with the tern Deus Ex Machina which, if my memory serves, dates back to Greek drama when the playwright painted himself into a corner with one complication he could not resolve by the ordinary process of human adaptation and/or ingenuity, he'd simply bring in Zeus or Artemis or any of the other Gods in the Greek Pantheon to reach down from Mount Olympus and solve the problem with Divine Intervention. Oh my God, how are Moses and the Israelites going to get out of this one? Easy. Jehovah will just part the Red Sea...you get the picture. So that's what the fatal car crash in this piece did for me. It absolved Renee of any culpability and turned her into the is saintly figure who bore no responsibility for the predicament she found herself in.
I would have much more preferred the alleged date rapist to have never existed, bringing up the fact that Renee made it up to cover the guilt she felt for at a moment of weakness, being led to lie as a way of coping with her shame at giving in to her desire, which would have made her way more relatable and sympathetic and human. Giving her the easy out, the literal God in the Machine type resolution of the date rapist not being listed at the college he was supposedly attending problem because he'd gone and died in a car crash the same night he allegedly raped Renee... I mean, come on man..., This too convenient happenstance serve to make her more of a caricature of impossible virtue than actual flesh and blood and all the lurid acts and vanities the flesh is heir to.
So. I'm going to pass on this because of that, what to me, is a fatal flaw in the direction of the narrative. The VC writes very well. Words flow easy. One other piece of advice I'd give him though is to let the symbology and word play speak for itself and don't be concerned with redundantly explaining it to the reader. They're either going to get it or not, but the beauty of a good venture is it can work on many levels and one reader will often see deeper into the folds of meaning than another but each person will still be satisfied by the very nature of the work allowing for enjoyment on those different levels. Hemingway THE SHORT HAPPY LIFE OF FRANCIS MCCOMBER can be read as rip roaring account of hunting lion and wild buffalo on an African safari regardless of the fact that it's also a profound study of the core differences between the sexes and the ongoing battle between them as well as their own inner battles thereof. Or some such literary nonsense, jk. Sorry Ernie, not sorry. People want narratives that taste good and have good taste. Get it? Now, like Francis and the Safari guide with gray gunmetal colored eyes, we're in the tall grass with an injured lion.
Case in point, the original title of this cap HOW I TRULY MET YOUR MOTHER: RENE AND TOUCHE is just too much. Rene and touche, pardon my lack of accent marks, are integral to the subterranean layers of the story and all its linguistic alterations. It's just telling too much, like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer to take your mind off the headache. Just let it be and some will appreciate the artistry of those literary devices hiding in plain sight and some will breeze right over them but still enjoy the surface story. Wait did I just break the cardinal rule of TQR and mention the word that shall not be spoken? Shame on me. Fool me once. Shame on you. foil me twice, don't get foiled again.
Please forgive my eccentricities and I wish you luck with your writing. It's very well done. The God in the Machine moment with the too convenient car crash was just the deal that broke the camel's back for me.
Until...
the whopper that stopped the wild ride in its tracks for me was the very convenient mention of the fatal car crash of the alleged date rapist, thus instantly absolving Renee, the prospective mother of the alleged date rapist's child, from the sluething of our protagonist and prospective adoptive father of Renee's forthcoming child, Joseph. Owing to the fact this piece is chock full of symbols and linguistic idiosyncrasies of the French language and language in general, as well as historical allusions, I'm certain the VC is familiar with the tern Deus Ex Machina which, if my memory serves, dates back to Greek drama when the playwright painted himself into a corner with one complication he could not resolve by the ordinary process of human adaptation and/or ingenuity, he'd simply bring in Zeus or Artemis or any of the other Gods in the Greek Pantheon to reach down from Mount Olympus and solve the problem with Divine Intervention. Oh my God, how are Moses and the Israelites going to get out of this one? Easy. Jehovah will just part the Red Sea...you get the picture. So that's what the fatal car crash in this piece did for me. It absolved Renee of any culpability and turned her into the is saintly figure who bore no responsibility for the predicament she found herself in.
I would have much more preferred the alleged date rapist to have never existed, bringing up the fact that Renee made it up to cover the guilt she felt for at a moment of weakness, being led to lie as a way of coping with her shame at giving in to her desire, which would have made her way more relatable and sympathetic and human. Giving her the easy out, the literal God in the Machine type resolution of the date rapist not being listed at the college he was supposedly attending problem because he'd gone and died in a car crash the same night he allegedly raped Renee... I mean, come on man..., This too convenient happenstance serve to make her more of a caricature of impossible virtue than actual flesh and blood and all the lurid acts and vanities the flesh is heir to.
So. I'm going to pass on this because of that, what to me, is a fatal flaw in the direction of the narrative. The VC writes very well. Words flow easy. One other piece of advice I'd give him though is to let the symbology and word play speak for itself and don't be concerned with redundantly explaining it to the reader. They're either going to get it or not, but the beauty of a good venture is it can work on many levels and one reader will often see deeper into the folds of meaning than another but each person will still be satisfied by the very nature of the work allowing for enjoyment on those different levels. Hemingway THE SHORT HAPPY LIFE OF FRANCIS MCCOMBER can be read as rip roaring account of hunting lion and wild buffalo on an African safari regardless of the fact that it's also a profound study of the core differences between the sexes and the ongoing battle between them as well as their own inner battles thereof. Or some such literary nonsense, jk. Sorry Ernie, not sorry. People want narratives that taste good and have good taste. Get it? Now, like Francis and the Safari guide with gray gunmetal colored eyes, we're in the tall grass with an injured lion.
Case in point, the original title of this cap HOW I TRULY MET YOUR MOTHER: RENE AND TOUCHE is just too much. Rene and touche, pardon my lack of accent marks, are integral to the subterranean layers of the story and all its linguistic alterations. It's just telling too much, like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer to take your mind off the headache. Just let it be and some will appreciate the artistry of those literary devices hiding in plain sight and some will breeze right over them but still enjoy the surface story. Wait did I just break the cardinal rule of TQR and mention the word that shall not be spoken? Shame on me. Fool me once. Shame on you. foil me twice, don't get foiled again.
Please forgive my eccentricities and I wish you luck with your writing. It's very well done. The God in the Machine moment with the too convenient car crash was just the deal that broke the camel's back for me.