Post by rockefeller on Apr 13, 2021 15:01:55 GMT
Been into lucid dreaming my whole life. Even as a little kid I knew how to wake myself by jumping from high places. Lately, though, I've come to realize that lucid dreams are less interesting than the ones you believe are real. Your characters become self conscious, your abilities and imagination somehow hamstrung. Now, since Covid usurped our collective consciousness, nearly all my dreams are lucid. Soon as I see faces, I know it ain't real. So fuck you for that, too, Covid.
Lucid dreaming is a theme, even a learnable, in Plohr's Oneironautics cap, but that once abandoned saw me begin to lose interest. The writing is technically good, seems well edited. All I noticed was a missing "down" in "she was crawling upside and backwards", although, because I was reading pretty fast by then, I might've missed other nits. But wordcraftery isn't this cap's problem. The problem is garrulousness. One could, I'm fairly sure, condense this yarn by half without loss of clarity or interest. Actually, it'd be a lot more engaging because you wouldn't be slogging through utterly unnecessary narrative like, "There was a blockage arm dropped to prevent entry until one had taken a ticket, which I did, and when the arm lifted I drove to the furthest end of the lot and parked there." Like who cares how the parking lot operates? Now if it were in any way integral to the tale, like say how last Thursday, after inserting my ticket into the St. Mary's parking lot's exit terminal's slot, and then my credit card from which a $12.50 payment was extracted, the fucking bar never went up. I got out and tried lifting it, but it was stuck. See?
There's an old Simpson's episode where Homer's dad and a bunch of other oldsters break up a strike by telling the strikers long rambling stories: "...I wore an onion on my belt, as was the fashion of the times..." Don't be Homer's dad. Keep it sharp. Stick to what's relevant. That's my advice. And maybe don't drink absinthe. The ending was surprising in a non-foreshadowed sort of way, with some cool imagery. But by then the damage was done. So out the Porthole it goes. Hey Carol, while you got it open...
Lucid dreaming is a theme, even a learnable, in Plohr's Oneironautics cap, but that once abandoned saw me begin to lose interest. The writing is technically good, seems well edited. All I noticed was a missing "down" in "she was crawling upside and backwards", although, because I was reading pretty fast by then, I might've missed other nits. But wordcraftery isn't this cap's problem. The problem is garrulousness. One could, I'm fairly sure, condense this yarn by half without loss of clarity or interest. Actually, it'd be a lot more engaging because you wouldn't be slogging through utterly unnecessary narrative like, "There was a blockage arm dropped to prevent entry until one had taken a ticket, which I did, and when the arm lifted I drove to the furthest end of the lot and parked there." Like who cares how the parking lot operates? Now if it were in any way integral to the tale, like say how last Thursday, after inserting my ticket into the St. Mary's parking lot's exit terminal's slot, and then my credit card from which a $12.50 payment was extracted, the fucking bar never went up. I got out and tried lifting it, but it was stuck. See?
There's an old Simpson's episode where Homer's dad and a bunch of other oldsters break up a strike by telling the strikers long rambling stories: "...I wore an onion on my belt, as was the fashion of the times..." Don't be Homer's dad. Keep it sharp. Stick to what's relevant. That's my advice. And maybe don't drink absinthe. The ending was surprising in a non-foreshadowed sort of way, with some cool imagery. But by then the damage was done. So out the Porthole it goes. Hey Carol, while you got it open...