Today's capital is about a guy who's duped into being herded into a mad scientist's lab with a bunch of secret clones. James Bond meets Never Let Me Go, with a sprinkling of Three Identical Strangers. And, let me tell you, it's an absolute triumph of plot over quality.
By which I mean to say, it's a fun idea. But so blunt, and silly, and full of plot holes, that I wondered if it was meant to be a comedy. The fact that I'm not sure ain't a good sign.
Like, why did all the Dans accept their kidnapping so gracefully? (And again at the end, when the plot was revealed to them, they seemed to accept it without question?) Why did the evil genius go for the ultimate cliché of monologuing his masterplan the moment his victims were supposedly unconscious? Why did he install a retinal scanner to defend against a bunch of literal genetic clones?
The last line bugged me too. "You just don't seem to have it in your DNA." Is he implying they're not clones? Not to mention the grammatical errors that smack of a story that has not been pored over and perfected (eg Tom/Toms/Thom and Hughes/Hughs).
The bull is just an hour from a much needed weekend and has splurged for a couple of extra days off. Judging from the twitch in his left eye, he needs it, badly. He intends to do a whole lot of nothing, but it’s not likely to work out for him. The Bulldog barely has a free second to do everything on his daily to do list, never mind the list Bessie has been compiling up for him. He fully expects to have a long tomb of things to complete this weekend.
He needs two or three of himself.
This brings us to the cap at hand, “Nature Versus Nurture”.
So this guy gets invited to a biology shindig and it turns out to be an elaborate cloning experiment.
I have to say that I figured it out the second Dan’s roommate saw the dude that looked like him on the second page. Really, that was my first thought – “Hey, this is a clone story.” I’m not sure why that’s my go to response to a story where two dudes look alike, but yeah.
The story was amusing, but it lacked any surprises. Grammar aside, because the Bull is no grammatical genus, the caps biggest flaw was the lack of any twists. I’m not saying to M. Night Shyamalan the bitch, but it did lack anything that left the Bullmeister guessing.
The style was light and fun, not bad. But it seemed to be struggling to decide if it wanted to be a comedy or not.
The Bull I going to recommend this to the VC, advice that the Bull still has trouble accepting himself sometimes. If a cap tells you it wants to be funny, let it be funny. Don’t force it into compliance. Don’t make it become the deep thought provoking story you wanted to write. It’s going to fight you. Just write it funny and move on to the next one and make that one serious, unless that, too, fights you. Then resign yourself to the fact that you’re a comic trapped in a writer’s head and sob uncontrollable for weeks on end.
That aside, the answer is no, but thank you for the opportunity to vent.