Many thanks for your recent submission for our consideration. It's a brave move for anyone.
When the Sparrows Speak has some tick in it, but it takes so long to get to the centre of the nest, mon ami. As I read (aloud, while pacing these rancid rooms), a chorus arose to sing: there it is finally, the beginning! It's your decision, to be sure dear VC, but the flow of your narrative begins to harmonize in the paragraph describing the mysterious death of cousin Lawrence.
All the matter before that is so heavy with mere telling, the stuff that raises ire in an intelligent reader and causes that reader to shout: Stop with all this setup! Give. Me. Story.
Alright, so it goes. You have a bite of something. Ian goes to the woods for discovery. The maker of this tale must go there as well, imho. Editing is your friend.
All the best with the work to come. The Monkey slowly shakes its head. The bubble next to it reads: not ready for TQR.
In good spirit, I offer these humble comments for consideration.
Gabrielle DePlancher Editor of Ghosts and Tales TQR
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 💫Go Fishing. Catch Not One.💫 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sent while levitating from my own Bright Cloud.