Post by rockefeller on Oct 15, 2020 17:52:30 GMT
Hey Carol, do you ever start to read a cap, but then don't? Usually, if there are mistakes or the prose or story itself is weak, I'll start to skim, maybe hoping it'll pick up, maybe to see how the hook, if there is one, resolves. Or maybe I'm just a masochist. But this Woods piece is the first sub to cross my little litter-filled lift-top desk that I have stopped reading completely, and after only a few paragraphs.
"A shot cut down the power line in the woods was scary at night."
This caused multiple parsings, till I realized the VC means, shortcut.
So this repeat of it a few sentences later didn't trip me up as much.
"he’d take the shot cut to the camp"
This might be a dialect thing, but now my guard is up.
"He had forgotten his Rolex and left it down to the family camp at Toddy Pond."
How does one leave something to somewhere?
"There had been break-ends at the camps..."
WTF is a break-end? Is that like a break-in with no editing?
Anyway, if the prose'd been a tad tighter or the narrative more engaging, I might've kept reading. But they weren't. So I quit. Didn't read it the way I don't read any "news" pertaining to viruses anymore, especially if they involve heartbreaking anecdotes or bullshit studies. Weird, because the VC, if cover letters are to be believed, has writing credits out the wazoo. His novel even won an Eppies back in 2002.
[Rocks stomps over to the Porthole and tries to kick it open. Angry tears flow down his quivering cheeks. Fucking thing's either stuck or he kicks like a fruit fly.]
Little help here, sister?