Post by sturgeon on Sept 7, 2020 23:40:50 GMT
If I was being charitable, I would say: At its best this cap invokes the feeling of Stanislaw Lem's Cyberiad, with its mythical feel and its crazy/smart protagonists playing god.
If I was not being charitable, I would say: Never mind the plot, or how it feels, it's not very well put together. It's bloatier than Bloaty McBloatface.
From the first two paragraphs, examples of the sinful over-writing to which I refer:
The thing is, the plot's good. I like the idea that telling a human about a (lethal) treasure is enough to seal his fate. I like the Sisyphean twist. But it's overlong, or under-edited. Half as many words would have been twice as good. Je n’ai fait celle-ci plus longue que parce que je n’ai pas eu le loisir de la faire plus courte.
It's a no from me.
If I was not being charitable, I would say: Never mind the plot, or how it feels, it's not very well put together. It's bloatier than Bloaty McBloatface.
From the first two paragraphs, examples of the sinful over-writing to which I refer:
- "They spoke quietly because the conversation was of the nature that inspired such secretiveness." [In the context, a tautology, and should have been deleted.]
- "He stood a towering, for his race, 4 feet in height. The pale-green-skinned inhabitants of the planet Bordeion were generally small in stature." [The latter assertion unnecessarily repeats the first.]
The thing is, the plot's good. I like the idea that telling a human about a (lethal) treasure is enough to seal his fate. I like the Sisyphean twist. But it's overlong, or under-edited. Half as many words would have been twice as good. Je n’ai fait celle-ci plus longue que parce que je n’ai pas eu le loisir de la faire plus courte.
It's a no from me.
