As a fish-beast I reproduce by releasing huge clouds of sperm into the water where they can mix with the eggs of my hermaphroditic companions, so I've no need for mistresses or fuck buddies or the accompanying long dark night of the soul.
However, I appreciate that human relationships are somewhat more complicated. Ridiculously, hilariously so. And this cap cuts straight to the heart of those absurdities. I thoroughly enjoyed the effervescently quotable black-as-pitch worldview that equates love with pain, self-actualisation with self-loathing.
The Aesop moral here is that cheaters should never trust anyone, least of all themselves. The voice of the main character is witty, sharp, and brimming with the kind of self-destructive hopelessness I can really get behind.
The cleverness of the wordplay is evident in the last line: "It was never going to be him." It carries a double meaning:
The protag's married boyf would never have left her.
But it also seems to mean, Said boyf was never going to be Mr Right, once his true nature was revealed.
Anyway, it's a yes from me. Let's see what the angry bull says.
When the Bull here’s the word “strings”, the first thing he goes to is M Theory. He is a Bull of science and has no room for sentimentality. So when he received this cap with the promise of emotional depth, the Bullmeister was cynical.
Many thoughts struck the Bulldog while reading it. Why didn’t these people talk to each other? The perpetual dishonesty did nothing but bring them all pain. Then the thought occurred to the Bull, people are just idiots – lazy about dealing with anything difficult.
Although the cap irritated the Bullman to no end, he had to admit it felt genuine and true. The characters, as misguided and faulty as they were, could be and most likely are walking among us. The hidden pain that everyone carries, illogical and pointless, exists and should be acknowledged. Every person clings to their own idiotic pain.
So yes, this is worthy. Sad and pathetic in its sentiment, but worthy.