I am so sorry, but we examined the capital you sent and we decided it did not quite meet our blueprint, savvy? It was good, but not enough, right? We don’t want you to feel bad, but dang, you’s was close. You can craft. We are aware you are published all over the fucking world, but we are hesitant to publish you here because, while we love the shit you fucking do, we cannot stand the rest of the publishing universe. The publishing universe puts out the most horrendous bullshit ever, of all fucking time. Okay.
Sorry. We love your output, and we want to give you money and zine space, but you need to do better. Or you could go to those other publications, universities and watersheds. They might actually offer you more money. Dude, you should totally go for that market. University pubs.
If I were you, I’d step on our side of the playground. Those University assholes are cardboard, cousin. Regardless, we would love to grab more of your stuff. And that’s not sexual.