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Post by johnVC on Mar 10, 2023 15:41:55 GMT
Ted Rorschach(sic), Editor(sic) and Dear Leader TQR: Total Quality Reading
The Ether
Dear Editor(sic):
I have taken the liberty of sending you my short story(sic), “One Night at the Bar,” in which seven people at a table skirmish over the interpretations of what they say to each other.
My short story(sic) runs approximately 4,300 words for this single submission.
I am a published writer. My work has appeared in several iterations of Conceit, thrice in Tuck, CounterPunch in Clever and, most recently, in Euphemism. My short story(sic), “Under the Weather,” was selected for inclusion in 2016 Best New Writing.
Because of an unfixable bug in the Open Office program, (according to my computer expert), there may be a gap in text between pages two and three.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely, johnVC
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Post by rorschalk on Mar 10, 2023 15:45:55 GMT
Dear Mr. VC,
To start a fire under our asses, we've tweaked our submission process. Please refer to the revised guidelines for direction. As it is, this introduction does not have the horsepower, the juice nor the je ne c'est quoi to get your submission read on the floor.
FYI, I don't much care for summaries of the prospective capital since, once it does reach the floor, the capital will of necessity speak for itself. Like I said, read the new guidelines and then you'll have a good idea of what I'm looking for as far as stepping aside and letting capital through onto the floor.
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Post by johnVC on Mar 10, 2023 16:06:39 GMT
Dear Mr. Rorschalk:
Excuse me for being a Dense-head, but I'm not quite sure what to do. And I have read your revised guidelines. Do you want me to say some different than I already have in the cover letter? Shall I ride a unicycle while juggling two beach balls while balancing a third one on my nose?
Sincerely, johnVC
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Post by rorschalk on Mar 10, 2023 16:14:44 GMT
Yes. That would be something completely different, as John Cleese used to say. Clean up the (sic) lingo whilst juggling and balancing those beach balls and I like your chances.
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