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Post by rorschalk on Feb 24, 2023 17:54:40 GMT
Dear VC Wright,
Good writing, but not cattle is how I sum up Rockefeller's declination of your capital venture.Here's what he had to say:
Posts: 222 3 hours ago QuoteEdit Post by rockefeller on 3 hours ago
"And I was alone in my new apartment."
Yes, and here we are on page 9 of Building 46, and so far all the MC/1st person narrator has done is find an apartment online, view it, take it, hire movers, and get moved in. If not for the competency of the prose, I'd either skim or bail... And but so I proceed with care.
"Much about my new place I liked:"
Followed by a bunch of stuff he likes, of course. By the middle of this paragraph it's pretty clear the narrator is dead in some existential Sartre-esque hell. He appears to have no life or relationships beyond the building and its few inhabitants. The ending is open and (albeit poetically) vague, kind of like a lot of Netflix movies where it seems like the writers just threw in the towel when they'd had enough. The biggest problem for me was that I learned nothing about this poor soul except that he'd gotten a raise (doing whatever it is he does for a living) or his life beyond the building save for his (to my ear) slightly bland but erudite voice. So, no. Sorry.
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