|
|
Post by rockefeller on Sept 9, 2019 18:39:16 GMT
The thing Rocks, who's more garden variety anhedonic than bipolar, liked best about this WTF is Amy cap was the description of her "betweens." Easy to relate, why he's probably never going to finish his current work in progress, and why, if there's anything to reincarnation he's going to do everything in his power to avoid coming back, especially as a human.
The thing he perhaps liked next most about it was how flawless it was grammatically. Never once did Rocks trip over a typo or have to re-parse to make sense of something.
What Rocks did not like, though, was the ending. What the fuck? Dude (assuming that is your PGP), you can't let some great hook of a mystery carry an entire piece, and then not deliver even a modicum of a resolution or explanation or theory, or anything. Well... you can, and did. But you oughtn't! Bad VC. It renders the entire narrative pointless. In fairness, the title should've been a clue. But a question, unless rhetorical or satirical (which this title's isn't), is not an answer.
What Rocks disliked less was how haphazardly backstory is filled in. Like first we're informed of Amy's "betweens." Then of her bipolar condition. Later of Collin's job as a sheriff's deputy. Then that he's been suspended. Then, at some irrelevantly character developing length, why. It reads, to the Rockster's cerumen-filled ear like contriviance, almost dissembling.
Also, and even though the plot, such as it is, might have required it, the POV's toggling between Collin's and Amy's distracted a little. I.e., did not read quite deliberate or purposeful.
Finally, Rocks was surprised to see 2/3 of the way (10 pages) in that it's set in Arkansas, where he'd always kind of assumed, rightly or wrongly, that everyone was an illiterate, inbred, evangelical, jingoistic, Trump-loving retard. Rocks had been thinking somewhere northeast of Illinois, maybe Canada, maybe even the UK. The vernacular is that proper. No. Innit?
|
|
|
|
Post by bulldust on Sept 9, 2019 19:53:54 GMT
The Bullmeister skimmed by another close weather catastrophe two weekends ago. It skipped by, leaving the Bulldude unscathed. However, the Bull is exhausted by all the preparations and nail biting. As a result, this past weekend, the Bulldog grabbed all his guns and ammo, hopped on his bike and went to the range to let off some steam.
The range masters were somewhat put off with the visage of this Bull fucker wielding his tiny guns, but they had no say in the matter. The Bull has jumped through all the hoops of legal gun ownership and is entitled to go shooting whenever the fuck he feels like it, no matter how ridiculous a bovine with a weapon may appear to these bastards.
The Bullmaster was able to pump out about a hundred rounds before it got a little warm outside to keep firing. So, he got on his bike and made his way home to the air conditioning. Despite the heat and the judgmental asshats, the trip was well worth it.
Once home, the Bullman checked out his appearance, wondering what it was that confounded the range master. These jerks must have held some kind of anti-herd bias, because nothing seemed out of place. In fact, the Bull’s reflection only revealed ultra-coolness. Mirrors don’t lie bitches. Bulldust, as always, was looking ass-kicking.
Speaking of reflections and mirrors, we have our Twilight Zone-esk cap “Where the Hell is Amy?”. It’s a tale of Amy, Milo the cat and Collin the lame-ass boyfriend. Amy is a trustifarian artist with an affective disorder. When she’s not creating art, she stops her meds in the hopes of gaining inspiration. It is in one of these off-the-med moments where the cap picks up.
There were a few minor grammar elements that needs tending to, mostly things like hyphens. Otherwise, the pros were tight enough.
To be honest, I found the main character Amy pathetic. She expected others to perpetually come to her rescue, to her rescuer’s detriment. She seemed to put little thought into the consequences of her actions and in doing so, seems to doom herself and the closest people in her life – her boyfriend and her cat.
The ending was a bit predictable, not bad, but predictable. Overall, the cap wasn’t bad. However, it didn’t knock it out of the park for me. So, I’m playing the douche-bag card and saying no. It appears that my colleague Rocks agrees.
|
|
